Ferengi Rules
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Rules of Acquisition


1. Once you have their money, you never give it back.

Rom, "The Nagus"

3. Don't pay more for an acquisition than you have to.

Quark, "The Maquis, Part II"

6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.

Zek, "The Nagus"

7. Keep your ears open.

Odo, "In the Hands of the Prophets"

9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.

Nog, "The Storyteller"

10. Greed is eternal.

Quark, "Prophet Motive"

16. A deal is a deal.

Quark, "Melora"

17. A contract is a contract is a contract -- but only between Ferengi.

Rom, Quark, Brunt, and Gint, "Body Parts"

18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.

Jake and Nog, "Heart of Stone"

21. Never place friendship above profit.

Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"

22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind.

Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"

23R. Money can never replace dignity.

Rom, "Prophet Motive"

31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother.

Quark, "The Siege"

33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss.

Quark and Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"

34. War is good for business.

Quark, "Destiny"

35.Peace is good for business.

Dax, "Destiny"

47. Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than yours.

Quark, "Rivals"

48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.

Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"

57. Good customers are as rare as latinum. Treasure them.

Quark, "Armageddon Game"

59. Free advice is seldom cheap.

Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"

62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit.

Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"

75. Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.

Quark, "Civil Defense"

76. Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.

Quark, "The Homecoming"

94. Females and finances don't mix.

Rom, "Ferengi Love Songs"

95. Expand or die.

Kafar, "False Profits"

98. Every man has his price.

Quark, "In the Pale Moonlight"

102. Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.

Nog, "The Jem'Hadar"

103. Sleep can interfere .... [cut off and Pel may have made this one up]

Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"

109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.

Quark, "Rivals"

111. Treat people in your debt like family: exploit them.

Quark and Sisko, "Past Tense, Part I"

112. Never have sex with the boss's sister.

Quark, "Playing God"

139. Wives serve, brothers inherit.

Odo, "Necessary Evil"

190. Hear all; trust nothing.

Nog, "Call to Arms"

194. It's always good to know about new customers before they walk through the door.

Quark, "Whispers"

203. New customers are like razor toothed gree worms, they can be succulent, but sometimes they bite tack.

Rom, "Little Green Men"

208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than the question is an answer.

Zek, "Ferengi Love Songs"

211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder to success. Don't hesitate to step on them.

Frool, "The Bar Association"

214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.

Quark, "Maquis, Part I"

217. You can't free a fish from water.

Sisko and Quark, "Past Tense, Part I"

229. Latinum lasts longer than lust.

Rom, "Ferengi Love Songs"

239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product.

Gint, "Body Parts"

263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.

Rom, "The Bar Association"

285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.

Quark, "The Collaborator"

286. When Morn leaves, it's all over.

Quark, "The House of Quark" [This rule doesn't really exist, Quark made it up.]


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